Should you buy a smart toilet?

Previously, this article was written in 2020, and since it requires some changes. First of all, Smart Toilets are still freaky devices, not something people really want to get in their restrooms.

The idea sounds simple: We can send a rover to Mars, but we’re still stuck with the same old toilet setup from decades ago. Enter the smart toilet, the bathroom game-changer you didn’t know you needed—or maybe you’ve been skeptical about.

But the truth is you don’t need it just because it isn’t as smart as you may expect. And other writers may be happy with them, but we don’t.

They’re expensive; they don’t make your restroom better. At least when we compare what we pay and what we get. In simple words, you don’t need one. Do you need a bidet? Go for it! For a bidet, not for a smart toilet.

You don’t believe they’ve failed? How many people with smart toilets in their bathrooms/restrooms do you know?

What is a smart toilet?

Picture this: a toilet that greets you with a warm seat in the dead of winter or a self-cleaning feature that makes scrubbing a thing of the past. Yeah, it’s like your toilet went to MIT and came back a genius.

So, what’s packed into this techy bathroom miracle? Here’s a rundown:

• Self-Cleaning: Imagine not having to touch a toilet brush again. These bad boys have self-cleaning functions. A quick spray, and voila! No more icky build-up.
• Heated Seats: Nothing jolts you awake like a cold toilet seat at 2 a.m. Smart toilets come with heated seats, making those midnight trips a whole lot cozier.
• Bidet Features: If you’ve ever been to Japan, you know how game-changing a bidet can be. Many smart toilets come with a built-in bidet, some even with temperature control.
• Remote Control: Yep, there may be a remote. It controls everything from the flush to the seat warmth. Some even link to your smartphone because why not?
• Foot Sensors and Auto-Flush: Some models sense when you walk away and flush automatically. Hands-free operation for the win!
• Air Purifiers: You read that right. Some even tackle odors with built-in air purifiers, ensuring your bathroom smells like a meadow or whatever scent you pick.

And … you don’t need it!

And now I wanna to ask you: Do we actually need a toilet that’s smarter than some of the apps on our phones? Fair question. Sure, showing off your futuristic bathroom to friends is cool, but let’s dig a bit deeper.

• Expense: Let’s be real; smart toilets are not cheap. You’re looking at a price tag that can skyrocket into the thousands. That’s a vacation or, like, a lot of pizza.
• Over-Complication: A toilet has one primary job, right? The bells and whistles are cool, but is fiddling with a remote just to flush adding or taking away from your life?
• Maintenance: More tech usually means more things can go wrong. Your regular toilet might get clogged, but a smart toilet malfunction could involve rebooting software or replacing intricate parts.
• Learning Curve: Let’s face it: no one wants to attend a tutorial just to use the restroom. And if you’re not tech-savvy, the plenty of options could make your bathroom breaks more stressful.
• Environmental Concern: These toilets are power-operated. Unlike traditional toilets that can function during a power outage, these high-tech wonders are as good as flower pots without electricity.
• Data Privacy: I know it sounds far-fetched, but some smart toilets collect data. Do you want your bathroom habits stored in a cloud somewhere? Maybe not.

In the grand scheme of life’s needs, a smart toilet is more of a ‘nice-to-have’ than a ‘need-to-have.’ Could it make your life better? Perhaps. Is it essential like air, food, or a good Wi-Fi connection? Not really.

But may it be useful?

Sure, a smart toilet may seem like a futuristic extravagance, but sometimes that extravagance has a purpose.

• Accessibility: For people with mobility issues, smart toilets can be life-altering. Features like automatic flushing, bidet functions, and even seat lifting can make a huge difference.
• Hygiene: Automated features minimize touchpoints, making for a cleaner experience. And there may be a bidet included!
• Resource Conservation: Yeah, these toilets do use electricity, but many are designed to conserve water better than traditional models. In the long run, you could be doing Mother Earth a solid.
• Time-saving: If you add up all the minutes you spend cleaning, you might find that a self-cleaning toilet can gift you some valuable free time.
• Comfort: Don’t underestimate the power of a warm seat or a well-angled bidet. The small things sometimes add up to a big difference in quality of life.
• Kid-Friendly: Anyone with young kids knows that toilet training can be a battlefield. Some smart toilets come with training features and smaller seats for the kiddos.
• Night Trips: Some models have built-in nightlights, making those middle-of-the-night bathroom trips less of a stumbling hazard.

So, are smart toilets worth it?

And now, let’s zoom in on dollars and cents.

And why not? Dropping three grand or more on a toilet isn’t a chump change. The kind of money makes you pause and wonder, “Do I really need to live like I’m in a sci-fi movie?”

1. Cost vs Utility: Sure, they offer perks like heated seats and auto-flush, but when the price tag resembles a used car, you have to ask, “Is this worth it?” Most people won’t see enough of a daily benefit to justify the splurge.
2. Popularity Factor: So, you’re paying for a toilet and taking a gamble. If these smart johns become more widespread, prices might drop. But until then, you’re essentially a high-paying beta tester.
3. Priorities, Man: For the price of a high-end smart toilet, you could redo an entire bathroom, take a decent vacation, or even make a sizable donation to a cause you care about. When you put it that way, the smart toilet starts to look less appealing, huh?
4. Obsolescence Risk: Have you ever bought a pricey tech gadget only to find it outdated in a couple of years? That risk is real with smart toilets, too. What if that snazzy $8,000 model becomes the equivalent of a flip phone in a few years?
5. Social Conundrum: Most of us don’t spend our social lives in the bathroom. So unlike a new car or a big-screen TV, this isn’t something you’re likely to show off to friends—or use as a topic to break the ice at awkward family gatherings.

So, are smart toilets worth it? I’m leaning towards NO, and given the high cost and lack of widespread adoption, your stance holds water (pun intended). Maybe someday they’ll be the norm, but for now, it’s a luxury that most of us can probably live without.